His Grace Tells the Story

Although this Blog will mostly contain posts about how Team Worth is doing, I would like to take a moment to share with you how God has proved His love and faithfulness to me (Katie).

I would probably not have thought about sharing my testimony on this blog until now. I have to credit that thought to the young marrieds small group that met last night. We were all asked to share our testimony. Although I'm sure asked of us many times before,the answers spoken really came down to the heart of who we really are. This time of sharing allowed me to see that not only are God's grace and love evident in our lives, but His plan of sanctification for each of us is so uniquely different.  During this hour or so of testimonies I was given the opportunity to share mine. So here is my story...well the one God has beautifully created.
I sometimes fear that my story isn't unique or a wonderful display of God's grace. I am tempted often to think this story pales in comparison to someone who was at the end of his/her rope caught up in drugs, alcohol, gangs, sex outside of marriage...etc and then pulled out of ALL of that to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. The truth is, that although God allowed me to not experience any of those things, He still very much SAVED me from the path of destruction.
As I look back on my life, it seems typical and very normal. The years have blended together, and there were not many hills or valleys that separated the years for me. I know in some ways that can be a blessing. I feel as if sadly, a good portion of my life I've coasted... but in fear and doubt.
I grew up in a wonderful family who loved and served the Lord. It was at the age of 5, in the summer of 1993, that my mom led me to Jesus.  One evening as I was getting ready for bed, she asked if I would like to pray with her. We then sat on my bed and she talked with me about knowing Jesus,we prayed together, and I accepted Christ as my Savior. Although at that age I'm not sure how much I understood, I just remember the excitement that filled me heart knowing that I would spend eternity with Jesus!
Throughout the years that followed I continued to attend church on a regular basis and go to Awana.  I had church friends I would spend time with, as well neighborhood friends that were unsaved. Even at a young age I had convictions. God created within me a sensitive and conscious stricken heart. Through the Lord, and my parents help I definitely knew Truth.
 As I grew, up there came a point around the age of 12 that I really started doubting my salvation. I must have prayed to the Lord hundreds of times, just to make sure I was saved. I know many of you have similar experiences :). No matter how often I prayed, or how many tears I cried, it seemed that the doubts and fears I had would not subside. I wanted to know for sure that I was going to heaven. I wanted visual conformation, but that of course is missing the mark. For God asks us for FAITH. It was during these rough years of doubting that I attended NLI (New Life Island) a summer camp in PA. I talked to different youth leaders and counselors who were a good encouragement to me. As I entered high school, God provided godly teachers, and friends to help on the journey. There were still moments of doubt during those years, and I remember desiring to be more confident and have a stronger faith. A few months before graduation I decided that I would like to attend BBC in the Fall. Little did I know what God had in store for me.
My Freshmen year I remember God just continually reminding me that life was truly nothing without HIM. It was a good truth that I needed to dwell on. If I didn't have faith then being a teacher, having a future, living my daily life was meaningless!! It was only through God and His grace that I could have a glorious purpose! College also continued to create in me a desire to learn more. I often, still to this day, want to know why things are the way they are. I want to understand general things in life more, as well as the Word of God. I am never satisfied without answers.God has allowed me to struggle through unknowns and tough questions, from a young age until now for a reason. He has wired me in such a way to search for truth!
It was during these years at college that devotions became more a part of my life. Up until then, I had memorized, learned, and studied a good amount of Scripture, but struggled with making time to be in it personally. I read through random books of the Bible and a few devotional books during the first couple years of college. But, it wasn't till my Junior and Senior year I believe that I began reading the Scriptures more often, other then for classes.  I started reading through the Bible my Soph. or Jr. year and fell behind, and gave up in Exodus or Leviticus, I think :). However, in the Fall of my Senior year, I started reading through the Bible again. I praise God for a wonderful and godly roommate who encouraged me in this direction. I started with Matthew, reading and then writing a prayer down in a journal. Then I started back in Genesis. I am still reading today... :). It has been over a year, and I am still in the O.T. But I am enjoying His Word so much. I have not given myself an end date to finish, (except that I would like to finish before we have kids :). My goal this year is to read at least two chapters a day, and journal a prayer. The Scriptures are truly amazing. Just being in them consistently is wonderful. I am only in 1 Kings about to start 2nd Kings. It is a slow, but continual process. (For those of you in  need of encouragement. Be in the Word daily. Even when you don't feel like it. Establish the habit and God will bless you!)
 So here I am today, married, age 22, and wondering what's next!? I feel like in ways I'm behind in this journey called the "Christian Walk". But that is when sin creeps in and I compare my journey to others. I am so easily influenced by the opinions of others. I often seek the approval of people  in my life, and find myself comparing my life to theirs, but God has a plan for me!The beautiful tapestry of my life is being filled differently then others. It is uniquely mine! I desire not to let life pass me by, although that is easy to do when I sit back, and don't step outside my comfort zone. I want God to break and stretch me . To rid me of fears and doubts, and fill me with the satisfaction that comes from the JOY of knowing Him! Life is too precious to waste. His love is too great a gift to just hide within my heart. I want HIS life and love to shine through me. I desire to sacrifice comforts, time, and energy for the glory of His name. I can't wait to get to know Him better through reading Scripture and prayer this year!
So I guess to bring this all back to where I began. I will say that as I look back over the last 22 years of my life I am so blessed! God has allowed me to meet so many godly friends. I can see many people that God placed in my life for a reason(family, close friends, teachers, church families etc). Out of love He chose me, God knew the child He had created :). He knew all the stages I would go through, and the sins I would struggle with. He gave me godly parents to protect me from the evil one. Friends who loved God, and encouraged me towards Him. Wonderful educators who have challenged me, and had an impact on my life. So through it all. God's hand has been...and will continue to watch over me. He has truly protected me from the world that so desires to devour me. From my first breath He has guided my steps...and He will lead me home!

Here are the song lyrics to a song by Addison Road called "What do I know of Holy".
This song describes me so well! I feel like I have so far to go in my relationship with the Savior! May it also be a challenge to all of you not to settle for what you know about our Savior, but to really run after Him. To Seek Him, Serve Him, Love Him...and never be satisfied with where you are spiritually.

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com