Team Worth '12 Review

Although it seems impossible, it is already time to recap our year.  2012 began, and ended, with significant changes for Team Worth. 

• We kicked off the year by moving two states away and living with our brother Ben.  No matter how generous and chill a person is, it isn't easy to live with anyone once you are married.  Still, Ben has made this a great experience! 

• We looked for a church and found one; which felt like we never left.  Diving into ministry at Bethel has been one of our greatest pleasures this year.

• Katie held a hand full of photo shoots and got a good start, gaining a lot of knowledge, on the road to starting her own photography business.

• God unexpectedly blessed us with another pregnancy, we loved our son for the short while that we had him.  Then in late November, for reasons beyond our ability to concieve, Noah passed away.  This event was marked deeply with the love of others pouring into our hurting hearts!  We were irreversably changed through Noah's death, but because of God's infinite grace and the love of His family, we have been changed for the better!

• We knew the joy of having our first child birthday party!  Eden's birthday was great enough to overshadow the 18 hour car ride with her first ear infection!  It was most enjoyable to watch Eden's face light up as we sang her happy birthday... she just knew it was all about her (a quality we may regret installing into her years down the road)!

• Finally, we were offered, and accepted, a part time position as the Director of Youth at Bethel Baptist Church in Fruitport MI.  This is a wonderful, part time opportunity for us to minister to the students in Fruitport, as well as gain some experience which should aid him in his desire to do full time ministry.  The position begins January 1st, but Mark will be maintaining his current employment at Hackley Hospital as our family's primary income.
  
  We are excited about this opportunity  but we know that ministry is as stressful as it is rewarding.  We ask that you keep us in prayer as we begin this new journey.  It is unspeakable how much we appreciate the prayers and support of those who care for us.  If God is not on our side, then we will be completely defeated; but if God is for us, who can stand against us?

That serves as a small sampling size of what transpired in Team Worth this year.  The overarching theme is undoubtedly God's faithfulness, for we faced some tough circumstances, but we are entering 2013 stronger and more united than ever!

As we close up this year, we wanted to also give you the final report on our 2012 goals, as depressing as this report will be.  We do consider it a small victory that we can even remember our goals at the end of the year!

1. Run a 5k together
1. This was just flat out a fail.  We almost never jogged together (maybe twice together all year).  We sort of gave up on the goal when we got pregnant...
2. FAIL
2. Read 2 Parenting Books Together
1. This also is a mega fail, but we grew from trying.  We learned that we are too busy and love relaxing when we do get time together too much to actually read any book all the way through out loud together.  Had we allowed ourselves to read separately, we likely would have finished at least one book.  Next year, our reading goal will be carried out separately.
2. FAIL
3. Pray Together 5 Nights a Week
1. If we gave you the stats on how rarely we actually prayed out loud together 5 nights a week, you would easily chalk this up as a fail... and to some degree we do.  But, for the couple of months that we did pray together often, it was one of the best experiences of our marriage!  Praying together brought our united focus back to God, it lowered our selfishness, and it encouraged our personal relationships with Him!  Because of those great benefits, even if only for two months, we call this a partial success.
2. Moderate Success
4. Update Our Family Blog Twice a Month
1. Finally we come to a goal which has been (other than one month) fully successful!  We have thoroughly enjoyed updating our blog with whatever is going on in our lives and we hope you have enjoyed reading it.  We feel as though we have 3 homes and only live in one of them, so we want to continue to blog so that those who love us from afar can keep up with us.
2. SUCCESS
5. Get Actively Involved in a Local Church Ministry
1. As has been previously stated, we (re)joined Bethel Baptist Church and are now very active in the youth, music, and nursery ministries!  Next year Mark will actually be on staff at Bethel and we are thrilled to start that new part of our journey.
2. SUCCESS

So in the end, we completed around 40 to 50 % of our 2012 Team Worth goals.  Stop on by the blog on January 1st and we will reveal our 5 2013 Goals, one of which we will select from suggestions given to us by our friends (so if you have a goal suggestion, let us know by commenting below or hit us up on facebook).

From Team Worth to all of those who read this blog and support us, we thank you from our hearts and we love you!  We would love to hear about your 2012!

December 10 on 10

2012 is coming to a close. I feel that as I get older the years go by faster! December is such an exciting time of year though. There is much to plan for, and look forward too. I wanted to capture getting ready for this holiday season at the Worths. So enjoy these pictures. I must admit they are not ALL taken the same day, so I guess  that's cheating ;). Decorating took more than 1 day around here, so in order to capture these moments they were spread out. Forgive me :).

The Tree!

Eden helping Daddy cut down the Christmas tree!

Family picture at the tree farm!

Eden loved the Christmas lights!

Time to deck the halls! :) Love getting out all the decorations!

This will be filled with candy soon!

Could you imagine if you were there? :)

Eden and Mommy decorating the tree!

Love this ornament :).

Happy Family!

Merry Christmas to all! May you enjoy this time of year as we remind ourselves of the babe born in a manger who came to save us all! 

Head on over to Arlee's blog and see her sweet pictures from Thanksgiving! 

http://www.timandarlee.com/blog/

Ryan Leigh

We have spent most of our recent blogs chronicling our loss of Noah Matthew.  We still hurt from the loss but life has returned to some sense of normality.  Today, however, we remember that we lost another child 2 years ago.  Ryan Leigh passed before 10 weeks old.


We light a candle in memory of Ryan and we cannot believe that it has only been 2 years.  On days like today we remember that life has not been all rainbows and butterflies, but that the sovereign grace of God has been a constant in our lives.  Jesus' love has never failed us yet, and we move forward in life with the confident hope that it never will!

Moments Remembered

It has been 3 weeks now since we lost our little boy. I thought I would share 2 things Mark and I shared at Noah's memorial service a little over a week ago. It was a beautiful service. Our pastor shared some very encouraging words. I read a poem, and by God's grace I got through it without falling apart. Mark performed a song by Matt Redman called "Never Once". During the song we all lit candles to honor Noah. So below is the poem, and the lyrics to the song perfomed at the memorial. We were glad to be able to remember and honor Noah in this way.

The Blessing of a son

Noah Matthew

A gift from God you were

With tiny hands

Arms folded over your chest

You arrived too early we thought

But the Lord knew best

     With you, our little miracle

Came much blessing

And overwhelming loss

We held you in our arms

And with hearts aching

We let you go.

          God gave us you

Not a lifetime to love you were we given

But 19 weeks was truly enough

A member of this family you will always be

God graciously gave, and has now taken away

So although we cannot comprehend

We trust His plan

 Never will we watch you play

Or laugh with you

But Dear Noah you must know

That you were loved

And we have been so very blessed

So pain we face now

Knowing each day you won’t play a part

Noah Matthew you’ve left a mark

And our lives are truly changed because of you

In our memory and hearts you will always last

We look forward to the day

When all this pain and sorrow will be washed away

When the Lord will truly fill this void

We will see Him in all His glory

And sweet Noah, we hope to see you

 But for now we will carry on

And NEVER forget you

"Never Once"

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

2012 Goals Update: Crunch Time

As will happen to many people next week, Katie and I looked at our calendar and thought, "Holy crap!  It is nearly Thanksgiving, which means it is nearly Christmas, which means only a month and a half to scrape together some justifiable response for our 2012 goals completion!!"  It is time to throw out another update, especially considering how poorly we are doing on many of our goals.  Perhaps just stating it publicly will help motivate us to complete a few of these in the little time remaining.

So lets jump into it:

(EPC=Estimated Percent Complete)

1. Read 2 parenting books
1. Our last goals update was in July.  The only difference from then till now is that we purchased the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" instead of continually checking it out from the library.  So only two chapters into the first book.  Haven't settled on a second book.
2. EPC:  5%
2. Jog a 5k together
1. We had given up on this goal because it wouldn't have been a good idea with Katie pregnant.  Even though Katie is no longer pregnant, we think it is too late in the year to start to train for a 5k and they probably don't even have one before the new year.  I am calling this one dead!
2. EPC: 0%
3. Pray together 5 nights a week
1. This one has been on and off here or there all year long.  It is nearly impossible to estimate how much of this we have completed.  The idea of this goal was to set the habit of praying together every night before bed.  Sadly, though, this habit still is not ingrained in us.
2. EPC: Roughly 25%
4. Take on an active ministry role in a local church
1. This goal is our one goal which is absolutely fulfilled!  We have been actively helping as youth leaders at Bethel Baptist Church of Fruitport since early Summer.  God has recently blessed even further and we are currently being considered for a one year position as Director of Youth.
2. EPC: 100%
5. Post on our family blog at least twice each month
1. This goal has gone well for the most part.  Technically we failed to update at least twice in two months so far: June and August.  Even though two months only had one blog post, we have blogged more than 24 times this year, and we consider that a sucess.  Katie and I are both very open and social people, so blogging has been a rewarding practice for us.  We appreciate you taking the time to read and keep up with our family.
2. EPC: 83%

It is easy for us to look at these goals and see mostly failure, but a little perspective reminds us that this is the first year we can even remember our new years resolution in November (not to mention 5 of them).  So, although we won't complete 3 of our 5 goals, we consider this progress, a step forward, and hope for even further development next year.

10 on 10: November

Well we've made it to November,and I am late once again...So here is my 10 on 11 :). The end of October proved to be a very rough time in the Worth household. We had to say goodbye to Noah Matthew, our son that we never really got to know. God has faithfully been walking us through this trial. Yesterday we held a memorial service for Noah. So I captured some moments from before and after. Enjoy these precious pictures from the memorial/celebration of Noah, and the sweet moments I captured of my family!

Vigil candles for the memorial service

Programs for Noah's memorial...I really like seeing his name written out.

A banner in celebration of Noah :)

Many people came to support us, and honor and celebrate Noah.

The candle I lit in honor of Noah Matthew....All  other candles were lit  from  this one.

Mark and I in front of Noah's banner. Mark has been a WONDERFUL support and comfort to me during this heartbreaking time in our lives.

Auntie Heather came over after the service to help babysit. This allowed Mark and I to have a much needed date night! A big thanks to Aunt Casey and Uncle Ben who also helped occupy our little monkey :).

Caught red handed with a cell phone. I just love her face! 

Dinner fit for a 1 yr old princess :)...Mark and I enjoyed dinner out! 

Home from our date! So it's daddy and Eden playtime. Don't worry Eden actually enjoyed this haha. What a little goofball!



I enjoyed capturing these moments! Happy November everyone!

A Week of Heartache

::: A note to Noah :::

Noah Matthew Worth, my precious little boy!  I miss you beyond words.  I will never experience the joy of watching you grow up, or seeing you play soccer with your daddy.  Somehow though, for reasons that I cannot comprehend, God had other plans for you little one.  Your life, although short, has had an impact on many.  As each day passes, I continue to grieve your loss, but am thankful for the time I had with you! You will forever be a part of this family, and you will hold a special place in my heart. I hope and pray that the Savior's arms are holding you now and forever!

Love,

 Your Mom

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Noah's arrival was like nothing I have ever experienced, nor want to again.  Unlike the joy of a full-term pregnancy, there was no joy in hearing his first cry, or seeing movement.  Everything was still.  Too still.  There was sorrow and grief, and more tears between Mark and I than we had ever shared before!  Monday October 29th, was by far the hardest day of my life!  But as I look back, God carried us through with such GRACE. He allowed us to have some healthy distractions while in the hospital.  Whether it was sharing Eden's birth story with our nurse, laughing with her, or having Eden come see us.  It was so good for us not to dwell every minute on the overwhelming reality we were facing.  The Lord also graciously gave us the wisdom to think through the decision that had to be made, about what we would do with our little one after he arrived.  He provided the time we needed alone to weep with our little boy.  I must share that God gave me a wonderful amazing husband who helped carry my burdens in the midst of his own grief.  In the throws of contractions he encouraged me, and told me what an amazing job I was doing!  He held my hand, and told me to breath deep and look into his eyes.  He so badly wanted to take on my physical pain, so that I didn't have to do it alone.  He did not pretend to be superman.  He supported me, but allowed me to see his vulnerability.  God gave me exactly the right husband, he was a tremendous support and still continues to be.

As each day passes, we continue to find ourselves in the valley.  One night I went upstairs and just collapsed on my bed in tears, Mark soon found me and we grieved together.  It is hard when we are both  overwhelmed with grief.  How is it possible to find the strength to be there for the other person?  We have completely come unraveled together, and times when there were no words the silence was filled with weeping.  I must say in the moments of uncontrollable emotion is when Mark and I are so completely united.  We come to the end of who we are.  We can't possibly hold on any longer.  So we lose it together, and the Lord just holds us. That is why we believe the Lord blessed us with the body of Christ.  It is a beautiful thing when we feel the love and support of others.  We simply can't do this alone!  The only reason this valley is bearable is because of the tremendous help of our friends and family.  Not only has the Lord been holding us continually, but it is through others that we tangibly feel HIS love!

We have found that "healthy distractions" are a wonderful thing.  Mark and I have so much enjoyed the friends and family who have visited us.  As much as we need to cry, there are times we just so badly need to laugh. We need to play a game, go to the store, hangout with friends, or just watch TV. We need to know that life can still be enjoyed in the midst of tragedy.  "Normal" everyday things are great, if balanced with time alone.  Even taking Eden on her first Tricker-treating experience was nice.  It allowed us to take part in something "normal", that so many others were taking part in. It was kind of a last minute decision, but we really enjoyed it. Plus, we got to enjoy the candy ;).

For us both, it seems that indulging in a few "comfort foods" this week has been very sweet, and helpful.  For example, the morning we left the hospital Mark took me out to breakfast.  That is NOT something we do, pretty much ever. But to be honest, we felt like we could just use a nice breakfast out, and a place to talk and process things together.  Although our budget  probably wouldn't have allowed it, in the moment we set that aside.  Also, a few times this week we have gotten Cappuccinos.  We have discovered we both enjoy them!  We're not into the gourmet coffee shop ones, but the cheap and extra sweet ones from the gas station are just great.  These are simple things really, but in the midst of all that is going on they have brought a little pleasure our way :).

Not only have I craved time alone with Mark, everyday activities with others, and comfort food. I soon realized that I wanted some kind of change in my life. Maybe this is more of a woman thing :). I think as women when we are working through a hard situation, or starting something new, there is something exciting about changing something about us too. For me, it was a haircut. I have wanted one for a while, but somehow felt this week was a very appropriate time to get one. Change is so very good for me. By no means do I want to move on and forget the situation we are in, but being refreshed in a new way seems to have been helpful in my healing thus far.

So whether you have faced similar tragedy, or not. Remember there is no road map for grieving. It comes in all shapes and sizes; in huge overwhelming waves of emotion and simple tearful moments of sadness. I have to constantly remind myself that this is not a one day, week, month or year process! Surely I know with the Lord's help the days will get easier. But there will always be a place in my heart that aches for Noah.  I simply will never forget him, and I don't want to.

I am realizing that grief is not meant to be carried alone. So please I beg you in the Lord, continue to lift us up in prayer!